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At the moment of writing, I am in the process of learning how to ride a motorcycle. Learning something new is both hard and exciting at the same time. In my experience, besides learning a new specific skill, the process of learning also gives you more knowledge about your approach to life, taking risks, willingness to fail and to make mistakes.

This is also true for learning how to ride. I learned that being risk averse and focussing on the things you DON'T want to happen (falling down with your motorcycle), sometimes results in exactly that thing (almost) happening.

The thing to do, is to focus on what you DO want to happen.

In other words, you play to win, you do not play to not lose.

Leaning into it and keeping a steady pace

To obtain a motorcycle driver's licence in The Netherlands, you first have to show that you have mastered the basics. One of these basics is making a U-turn within quite a confined space, about one lane wide.

The tricky (and at first counter-intuitive) thing about making this turn, is that you have to keep a slow but steady space and lean the bike into the corner, otherwise it is physically impossible to make it.

In the beginning I found this very difficult and scary. Leaning the bike felt as if I was falling, after which I was releasing the throttle, which resulted in me almost falling.

After some practice, I have come to trust myself, the bike and just basic physics more and more, resulting in turns and corners that go pretty well. In successful turns I am focussed on making the turn, not on not falling.

The takeaway here is: It is the actual focussing on not falling that makes me do those things (breaking, not keeping pace) that brings me close to falling.

Start and keep going

Let's now apply this lesson to life in general. Could it be true that the actual fear of certain things happening either results in it actually happening or in not starting at all?

To start something (new), however small your change or project is, you'll have to lean into it at least a little bit. And once you've started making that 'turn', you'll fall/fail unless you keep the pace up.

I've experienced this before with other stuff. Getting in shape through exercising, starting up this newsletter/blog, working as a freelancer, just to name a few. Thinking through what could go wrong helps to see big dangers, but then starting as soon as possible is the best way to overcome that fear of failing.

After that, you probably have experienced yourself, consistency is king. Keep that pace to be able to reach the end of you turn.

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Do you dare to lean into it?

Think about something that you have been putting off for a while or something that you have started but were never able to get enough momentum on.

• Write down everything that you are/were afraid of happening.
• Look at this list of things and say to yourself "thanks for being cautious, but I am playing to win, so I will start anyway"
• Now, write down two or three actions you could take to take the next step. What would make you lean into it?
• For keeping up the pace, write down very specifically what you will DO next time you are about to fail/fall.

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Enjoy your ride!

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