Happiness is not found in relaxation

Published about 1 month ago • 1 min read

Imagine sitting on a white sandy beach, somewhere in the Caribbean, with your favorite drink in hand and some nice company. It is what you would call, the ideal Instagram picture, showing how good life can be if only we didn't have to work all year round.

Now imagine you would sit on that beach, for weeks or months on end. How long would you be able to enjoy that? How long would you last there, before you got bored?

Doing nothing is more a trigger to set a new goal than it is a direct way to happiness. Contrary to what we might think or tell ourselves, happiness is not found in just relaxation.

Living the life

I've been there, sitting on that sandy Caribbean beach, not having to work for a while. And to be frank, it got boring after a while. I got eager to take on a challenge again.

The best periods of my life were those in which I was focussed on a particular goal or achievement. Training for a marathon, studying for exams, finishing my master's, preparing for a stand-up comedy set, and now building a presence through writing, products and coaching services.

The lesson I learned from sitting on that beach not having to do anything, is that happiness is accumulated over time, focussing on just a handful of challenging activities.

Consistency is king

If you know the feeling after doing an intense workout or run, you know what I am talking about.

You have to push yourself to go to the gym, because the thought of an hour of of sweating, high heart rate and feeling your muscles hurt, is not a pleasant one.

The feeling afterwards, however, is what makes you go to the gym every time, alongside with the long-term progress you are going to see after being consistent for a while.

It is the gradual progress combined with those small dopamine hits you get after each session of working out, writing a newsletter or whatever it is you are working on. Only then relaxation has its place in giving you a moment to rest and to enjoy your efforts.

What is the next challenge you are going to set for yourself?

Lekstraat 103, 's-Hertogenbosch, Noord Brabant 5215CW
Unsubscribe · Preferences

Your foundation to fall back on

The pressure of wanting to do well can be fierce. Sometimes this pressure makes me want to go faster in live than is actually possible. I feel the need to hurry up or to skip ahead to where I think I should be. Let me tell you: it does NOT work. Every time I try to go faster than is naturally possible, I actually end up going slower or not getting started at all. Instead of hurrying up, slowing down and focussing on the basics is the remedy is what I found. Going fast = going slow? Multiple...

24 days ago • 2 min read

Achieving growth by quitting

When we think about personal growth, we tend to think that we should start doing all kinds of (new) stuff. Start meditating, reading, exercising, learning a new skill. And although this could be an entrypoint onto a path of growth, sometimes that step is too big, unclear or unaffordable. I'm making a case for the opposite option; quitting. Quit doing that which is not serving you. That is easier said than done, but sometimes it actually is the easier way to go. So, being bored instead of...

about 2 months ago • 2 min read

Breaking the Circle of Modern Life

This is what my life looked like a while back, when I was in university: Study a bit or work a side job during the day, go home, eat with housemates, watch TV or play a video game and go to bed, probably with a little buzz from the few beers I drank in that evening. Getting out of bed in the mornings was hard and I didn't have a consistent routine. Although there is enough from that time to look back on with a smile, things were not working out for me in general. I had gradually been...

about 2 months ago • 3 min read